What I did ....

Okay .... here is what I did to make Wine Fairie mad ...

In the first week of November 2006 WineFairie came to see me. She arrived on Thursday evening and spent the evening chatting with Tom about mortgages and the house she was considering buying while I tutored. That evening she made a statement which I kind of wondered about at the time ... and in hindsight I REALLY wonder about it. She said .... "Gilly thinks that you and I will be friends no matter what."

I wondered why she and Gilly were wondering about that, but I agreed that I thought we would, too.

She spent Thursday night in our home. She had brought wonderful coffee from Washington, sent wines from Washington, brought jams and jellies which were divine. She was the perfect house guest.

Friday morning Tom went to work and Georgia and I went out to breakfast then shopping and out to get full body massages ...( in separate rooms. ) We talked a lot and laughed and all seemed fine.

Over a dozen of Tom's and my friends met us at BJ's that evening ... many whom Georgia knew from the Q of the D. Tom didn't know it, but his best friend ever was in Texas from Germany and he and I had been planning to surprise Tom for months. Georgia's visit coincided with this event. I had already promised the guest room to Gary ... and Georgia had made arrangements at a local hotel. She seemed okay with that, but maybe she wasn't?

Gary showed up late at BJ's .... surprised the heck out of Tom ... drinks were had ... food was eaten. The gathering moved to our house and continued deep into the night. I am not sure what time it was when Georgia left to go to her hotel.

The next morning Georgia came back there was more wonderful coffee from Washington ... and Tom made a fritata. Then Tom and Gary took off because Georgia and I were expecting Cat and Caterry and Sunshine and my friend Marsha to show up for a Sensaria party. There was much hugging and drinking and laughter with everyone that afternoon. It was very enjoyable.

When Tom and Gary returned we all went out for Dinner at a local Tex-Mex place. The music was too loud ... and there seemed to be some tensions about people drinking too much or not drinking at all. Overall there was tension at the table ... and I am not sure what happened ... but I thought it was because the group was big and the music was loud and it was hard to hear across the big round table. This is one of our favorite places to eat ... but it didn't put on it's best face that evening.

We all went back to our place after that ... ladies to the front room to hang out and talk ... men to the TV to watch football. Cat and Caterry were sharing WF's room at the hotel and they left at 11:00ish??

I met them for breakfast at 9:00 Sunday morning at the Cracker Barrel ... things seemed okay. More talking and laughter. Hugs and pictures followed and Cat and Caterry took off for Arkansas.

It was Veteran's Day weekend and a restuarant in Dallas was offering free meals to Vets. Tom and Gary are both veterans so we had plans to go down there for lunch. Georgia wanted to drive her own car and see Dallas ... I insisted she ride with us.

It was basically downhill from there.

It became very clear to me that Tom and Gary were not being very nice to Georgia. While in the restuarant, Georgia went to the bathroom and I took Tom and Gary to task. They were ignoring her and basically in their own little world. Tom apologized but confessed that he found Georgia to be too "over the top" for him. She is very high energy ... and we are more laid back ... he was tuning her out and focusing more on Gary.

We got through lunch and headed back to Lewisville as the Broncos were playing soon. Georgia wanted to stay in Dallas and see Dallas. I should have let her drive herself. I wanted to see the football game ... I had assumed that would be okay with her, too ... as we always talked football online and she seemed to understand that Sundays and Bronco Football were important at our house. She was upset that she didn't get to spend more time in Dallas and she sure didn't want to sit around and watch football ... so we went to The Gaylord Texan Hotel and wondered around there .... drank margaritas and ate .... talked a lot.

On the way back to my place from there, I apologized to Georgia for Tom's treatment of her. I told her I had taken him to task at lunch and told him that he had probably cost himself a loan customer because of it. Next thing I know .... Georgia is in tears ... then I am in tears ... and I am furious at Tom for making us both cry when we should have been laughing.

Georgia refused to come into my house after that.

She dropped me off and went to the hotel ... and that was the last I saw of her.

I wrote her a long note of apology where I confessed to selfishly thinking that she wanted to do the things which encompass my life .... the things I had always talked about online .... I figured she mainly just wanted to hang out and talk and eat and DRINK and laugh and DRINK some more. I don't go to Dallas .... I hate driving in Dallas .... I don't feel safe in Dallas ... and I didn't want her to go to Dallas, with or without me. She wanted to go and I should have let her. I apologized for my selfishness.

Tom also wrote her a note of apology. He didn't get her loan, but it turned out she had already signed a contract on a house before she even came to Texas ... and that she was using WAMU because they offered her airline miles for her loan!! That made perfect sense to me .... airline miles for a home loan ... the best of all worlds, I would think. I was confused as to why she had acted like she didn't have a contract on the house while she was here .... and why she made it seem like Tom lost the loan because of his behavior .... when she had already gone with someone in Washington. We would have understood perfectly if she had just been honest and up-front. Tom gets and loses loans on a daily basis .... it is part of the sales world. Friendship is way more important than a loan.

I stayed Mad at Tom for several days but then Georgia admitted on FP that she had had a contract on the house before she came to see us ... but that the contract had fallen through because the sellers were divorcing. I still feel bad for her about that because it seemed like the perfect place for her and I wanted her to get it.



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Anyway ..... Things online in FP seemed to be fine between all of us as far as I noticed. Even more people were playing in Fewls and all seemed happy. Cat's Birthday went well ... WF's trip to Gilly's seemed to go okay .... Christmas seemed to go fine. I didn't sense any tension between me and Wine Fairie. In Fact .... I was at that time taking a lot of time to put together Dream/Wish Books for WF and Cat and Caterry and Gilly and Sweeney and Sparkle. I put a lot of Love and Affection into these books for these women. I didn't get them mailed in time for Christmas ... in fact, they didn't get them until after New Year's in some cases.

Meanwhile .... between Christmas and New Year's Cat and Winefairie started tag-teaming BREE and picking on anything she posted. I normally kept Bree on ignore so I was happily going along playing with everyone, including WF and Cat when suddenly I would come upon a virulent post to Bree from one of them. It was like a glass of ice water thrown into the fun. They would zing Bree ... then continue to play with others all happy and light. I knew that WF had serious issues with Bree, and I knew that WF and Cat had developed a friendship .... but I couldn't figure out why they were just being so very ugly to BREE ... why not just put her on ignore and play with everyone else?

So .... I sent the email which I mark as the beginning of the end for me in Paradise. I sent an email to Cat and WF ... Told them I loved them ... and kindly requested they take their nastiness towards Bree off of the threads and into emails.

OMG .... you would have thought I asked for the impossible. How dare I expect WF to back down from Bree who has been constantly harrassing her for months via emails and phone calls? How dare I ask Cat the same when Bree has also begun emailing her? That was it ... that was the last straw ... they were leaving Fewl's Paradise and they didn't care who wanted them back ... they were gone, outta there, no need to explain to anyone. They needed it for their health and well being. They didn't need to be fussed at for being mean to Bree when Bree had been so mean to them. They expected more from me. They expected my support and friendship. Instead, I had turned against them. They were gone.

And sure enough ... on New Year's Day ... they were gone. They felt they didn't owe anyone an explanation .... and maybe they didn't. But I felt they did. So when Caterry asked where Wine Fairie was, I posted that she was mad at me ... and so was Cat. I didn't want Bree to think that SHE had the power to run them off from Fewl's ... I took the blame.

Well ... that caused even more issues. They were furious that I blamed it on me ... actually .... I thought it WAS my fault ... I had written to them and asked them to calm down on Bree and they had replied with emails telling me that was it ... they were outta there .... so wasn't it my fault?

Actually ... Cat wanted more time offline to work on her court case and her health. WF felt that FP was an unhealthy atmosphere and she needed to be elsewhere. There was too much complaining in FP. Too many people with stuff wrong with them. Too many people needing Karma for this that or the other thing.

I therefore found it profoundly ironic that not one day after she pronounces FP unhealthy for her, she sends out a mass email asking for Fewl's Karma and prayers for her SIL who was in bad shape and having a dangerous surgery. I did not mass reply to her email ... so she accused me of not caring when in reality I was very concerned and read up on all the links she sent about her SIL and her Brother and their family and life. And I prayed and sent positive Karma.

Meanwhile in Paradise ... Gilly's Linzi has her first major attack ... Happy Loser shared with us about her son .... Nurse Purple is back wanting to play ... lots of newbies started posting .... Cat and WF and Caterry and Q-Ball and were all reading but not posting. I was replying to Newbies to please fill out their profiles and to please come play in the daily thread instead of opening their own. Someone named GrammaK or something like that kept correcting my posts to newbies saying they should do whatever they wanted. Other "lurkers" whom I didn't even know kept doing the same. Several Fewls were mad at me for chasing Cat and WF away and ruining all the fun. These same Fewl's suggested I apologize for whatever it was I did and ask them to come back.

All I did was ask them to stop picking on Bree ...

I tried to respect the fact that Cat and WF didn't want to be in Fewl's and I didn't go looking for them although I heard they were having fun in General Support. I did see them on the drop down list all the time and would occasionally post to them hoping they would respond in kind. I did mention something about lurkers trying to destroy FP ... I was honestly refering to GrammaK and others I didn't know ... but Caterry and Q took it very personally and I am not sure why. There were times when I felt it would be nice to have all the Fewl's who were reading posting again ... and I probably commented as such because I just didn't understand why they could take the time to read ... and yet couldn't take the time to say "HI GUYS!"

Meanwhile .... the joy and happiness and silliness of Paradise was sadly missing. I kept hoping that Cat and WF would come back. In my little heart, I secretly hoped they would come back on my birthday. By then they would have been gone over a month. Is it so wrong to want people I had enjoyed for years as friends to return to the community where we became friends?

My Birthday was celebrated in grand style by Debi and Sizz and Sparkle and RH and me and DO and T4 and Linda and Lilaz and Sunshine and Bree and I am probably leaving someone out and if I did I sure didn't mean to. Gilly stopped in to say Hi and Happy Birthday .... even though I think Linzi was in a bad place again. Caterry and Q and WF and Cat all were in the drop-down list all day long ... and I kept hoping they would post even as I enjoyed the fun I was having with everyone else. I honestly do not see what is wrong with hoping people I love and whom I thought were my friends would take a moment to post Birthday wishes to me.

We went way over 1000 posts that day and had a great time. Towards the end of the thread I thanked everyone for the wonderful day and mentioned my disappointment in those who had read but not commented. I really don't see that as being a birthday meltdown as Willow has suggested. I also didn't see it as being an insult to those who had spent the day with me. It was ONE post. This was Saturday Feb. 3rd.

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On Sunday the 4th was the Super Bowl. Around 2:00 in the afternoon ... maybe 3:00 ... Marsha was already here, I got an email from WF titled "Shame on YOU". I read the Title and a couple scathing opening sentences and promptly deleted the email. It was horrible. She was ranting and raving at me about the one post in my birthday thread and how disgustingly selfish I was to post that. Her email immediately tried to put me in a BAD place ... but I deleted it and proceeded to attempt to have a good evening as the hostess of our Super Bowl Party. However .... I was very taken aback by the amount of venom in that email ... even with the brief part I had read.

Was wanting Cat and WF to come back into FP and play again such a horrible awful thing? I enjoyed every moment of the day with all the others ... but FP had been suffering without Cat and WF and I wanted them to come back. I was disturbed that they were always reading and never posting. FP was a mere shadow of its former self and I wanted it back.

So .... I finally decided that Cat and WF wouldn't come back as long as Bree was posting and I very much regret what I did then. I attempted to move FP into iVillage and not let Bree know where we were. I hoped Cat and WF and Caterry and Q might post there if Bree wasn't around. I opened a thread in iVillage on Friday Feb. 9th. Lots of people joined me there ... it has WYSIWYG which I had missed muchly ... but it was different from SBDO and we were working through the kinks that day.

Someone sent the link to BREE. She was devistated. I felt horrible. I didn't know what else to do ...

Saturday Feb. 10th I log onto my computer and Sizz contacts me via IM asking me what I did? She said it was amazing! EVERYONE was back in paradise playing. EVERYONE (except Bree). WF and Cat and Caterry and Q were all there ... along with all those who had struggled through the month of January with me and others. I hadn't done anything to my knowledge ... except that suddenly BREE wasn't playing anymore. Sweeney was there ... DO said "Caterry!" and Caterry said "DO!" ... and all was right with the world ... or so I thought.

Then I realized that none of the returnees were talking to me. And if they did it was brief and terse. But they played with everyone else just fine. Occassionally I would try to join in the fun like I always used to ... and I would get greeted with "WTF?" I mentioned to a couple of people one day that they had red x's in their sig where their Tracker used to be ... and OMG .... you would have thought I was the devil from the reaction I got from WF and Cat.

It was suggested to me that WF was still waiting for a reply to the "Shame on YOU" email she had sent me the day after my birthday. I wrote her an email and told her I hadn't read it ... the title and the opening lines were too hurtful. Well that REALLY pissed her off .... and ... not only had she kept a copy of it to send back to me she added plenty of commentary about just how much worse of a person I was for not discussing her interpretations of my selfish behavior in the first place. I simply wrote back to her that I disagreed with her opinions of me and did not want to argue with her. She sent another long blasting email to me and proceeded to IM me with hateful things .... I blocked her on my IM and blocked her emails. She then brought it online to FP where she complained she couldn't get any sleep because of a dear friend of hers who wouldn't listen to reason. Everyone sent her {{{WF}}} hugs.

Finally .... Sweens was having trouble with WYSIWYG and I suggested she check her Preferences and make sure the right boxes were checked ... and then I suggested that while she was in there she might want to delete the /font> that had been her sig for MONTHS ....

Well .... that was when WF let loose with the horribly scathing post about it not being my job to police everyone's sigs ... and as a teacher I should know blah blah blah and clearly I am troubled and need to look into my own soul and clean up my own sig. I mean .... she let loose.

I gave a brief reply ... this can all be looked up by you who still have access. Then Cat jumped in with the same stuff. And I really began to realize that I was HATED. It had never occurred to me before that They hated me. I had no idea why. I tried to figure out what I had done to earn this immense hatred from people I thought were my friends just a couple of months before. I thought Georgia was behaving irrationally so I wrote an email to Gilly and Sweeney and Swillow and asked if they thought it was possible that WF might be suffering from SADD .... Seasonal Affective Depressive Disorder. This is a temporary condition caused by not getting enough sunlight. It was the only thing I could think of that could be causing her to act so meanly towards me.

Yes .... she had a rough visit here in Texas ... but for almost 2 months after that, she was still nice to me ...

I wrote to those women because I knew she was close to them and they to her. I asked them to email her and call her and check on her and let her vent about me or whatever. She seemed so very angry at me .... maybe they could find out why ... maybe by listening to her, her anger would wane.

I then posted an Open Message to Bree to apologize to her for my treatment of her and WF went Ballistic again. She and Cat posted more hateful stuff and left FP.

One week later, I had to go to have a follow-up Mammogram. I will not lie. I was scared. And I felt all the negative energy flowing from WF and Cat as they read but did not post in FP. I felt unsafe asking for Fewl's Karma. I felt they were wishing evil upon me. I felt scared in a place I used to feel loved and secure. IT REALLY HURT. I had to leave. I sent out that email Swillow refered to. No one begged me to stay. Those who replied understood and wished me well.

A week or so later, I was feeling better .... the dark shadow of cancer had passed ... and I missed my friends .... so I started posting again.

Cat and WF had stopped reading ... Caterry and Q were still constants in the dropdown as were many others who were reading and not posting. Threads were lucky if they surpassed 30 posts. It was sad. It made me sad.

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Candleman .... Admin John had suggested at one point back in 2006 after someone had complained about Candleman and Admin John had removed him .... he had suggested to me that I try posting him again ... if someone complained again I would have to take him down for good.

I took Admin John at his word.

So when WF showed up on the Drop Down list on Wednesday and I wake up to an email from Admin John threatening Banning on Thursday ... I put 2 and 2 together and got 5. And it appears I was right again.

Caterry's attack on me followed by Q-Ball's attack on me made it very clear that I was VERY unwanted in Paradise.

People had been pulling away from me as it was .... probably wondering what I had done to WF to make her hate me so. So why stay in a place where I was basically a ticking bomb.

I canceled my Membership and haven't posted in a week. I don't believe in leaving without saying goodbye, so I sent out an email to the few friends I believed I still had left. Clearly I was wrong about at least one of them.

I apologize to those of you who have been receiving the emails Swillow has been sending. I know many of you are tired of my "drama". I contend that until someone whom you have wholy loved as a true friend turns on you so unexpectedly as WF has done to me, you will not even begin to understand the hurt and confusion I have been feeling since I sent the email to Cat and WF asking them to stop picking on BREE online.

This is what I have done.