Best Advice ....

The Best Advice I Ever Received

You've got questions. She's got answers.
Jeanne Marie Laskas

From Reader's Digest May 2007
Mom Knows Best

Sometimes I have questions and you have answers. So in keeping with this issue's theme, I asked myself, Okay, smarty, what's the best advice you've ever received? Turns out, I've gotten plenty from many wonderful people.

Mom's Best Advice ... In high school I wanted to try out for the basketball team. I loved the game but didn't have the moves. And I wasn't tight with the cool kids on the team. I sweated the decision and started to chicken out. I told myself, You don't really want to spend all your free time shooting hoops. That's when Momma said, When in doubt, do the positive. Can't decide whether you should get all dressed up and go to that party? Don't know if you should "intrude" on a new neighbor with a homemade welcome cake? Worried that an old lady would find you rude for offering to help her with her grocery bags? Do the positive! Go to the party, bake the cake, help the old lady. A life of doing is better than one of regretting what you didn't dare to do.

Husband's Healthy Advice ... Why do men have such bad aim when it comes to throwing socks into the laundry basket? It's a universal gender problem. My husband's response to my nagging is great advice for both women and men: If all you have to complain about is dirty socks bouncing off the rim, your life is good. Lighten up!

My Bartender's Best Advice ... When we were single, my girlfriends and I tried all the usual gambits to meet men. We thought we'd hit on a secret: Target the bars where professional guys go. So we hung out in lawyers' bars and bistros near the hospital. Night after night we struck out, wasting money and energy in fruitless flirting. One evening, the guy behind the bar gave me the best dating advice I've ever heard: If you want to meet guys, get a dog and a Frisbee and go to the park. His point was that somewhere there was a guy looking for me just as hard as I was looking for him, and that if I relaxed and did what I liked, I would find a guy who liked what I did. "Doing what doesn't work for you," he said, "doesn't work for you." I took the barkeep's advice, literally. I got a puppy at the pound and went to the park. The puppy got sick; I panicked and called a friend. Lo and behold, the friend -- whom I'd never thought of dating before -- was a guy who liked what I liked. Call it puppy love, but the previously mentioned sock tosser, Alex, and I (and the dog) are still going strong.

Most Insightful Advice ... A friend of mine who is blind refuses to consider herself disabled or indulge in self-pity. She believes that every limitation can flower into unique talents. She points to herself as an example. "Let's see you find the toilet in the dark." Oh, I see!

Best English Teacher Advice ... As an eighth-grader, I was, like, so bored. You had to be bored to be cool. But my English teacher considered boredom the disease of an inactive mind. She told me: Always be in the middle of a good book and you'll never be in a bad or bored mood. I've been in the middle of reading or writing one ever since.

Best Neighborly Advice ... Recently I overdosed at the nursery and came home with a pickup full of zinnias, petunias and pansies. After unloading the truck in the hot sun, I felt overwhelmed. It would take days to get those plants in! I almost gave up. A neighbor found me sitting in the dirt. She leaned over, picked up a trowel and handed it to me. Just dig one hole. You plant a garden one flower at a time. I've found this advice applies to all of life's activities. You write a book one word at a time, clean a closet one shelf at a time, run a marathon one step at a time. If you feel defeated by some large task, get your spade and dig the first hole.

Best Sisterly Advice ... My sister was in a serious career slump; I'd just been dumped by a man I thought was The One. (This was way before The One mentioned above.) We were in our mid-20s, miserable, and 500 miles apart, and our friends were sick of listening to us whine. Then one night my sister called and said, "We gotta go to Hawaii." What kind of advice was that? I'd never done anything so impulsive in my life. But we took the trip, sipped fruity drinks and cried on each other's shoulder for two solid weeks. At last, our woes seemed ridiculous and our wails turned to laughter. At one point Sis turned to me and gave me advice that has stayed with me to this day: Family comes first -- and last. When everyone is sick of you, they'll stick with you. Even if they're sick of you!


Questions about pets, parents, partners or office politics? E-mail Jeanne Marie Laskas at advice@rd.com Sending gives us permission to edit and publish.