Huh??

Dang .... I don't write for a few days .... and suddenly all kinds of people are swarming all over this blog. What's up guys?

I'm doing great. Tutoring is going very well for the summer. It hasn't hurt me that the school district is sending letters out with the kids TAKS results to the effect that if the child failed they are in danger of not graduating ... even if the child is was in 9th grade last year!! So lots of parents are getting scared and calling me for help!!

I am being honest with them and telling them that it is mainly a scare tactic .... but they still want me to work with their kids this summer! Gotta love that!

Middle schools sent out the same type of letters because this Spring '08 8th graders HAVE TO PASS the TAKS to go to High School ... LOTS of people are freaking out. I am in the right place at the right time .... gotta love that.

Even 15 hours a week brings in $600/wk and $2400/month!! Considering I had a great Spring and saved 1/3 of all I made, partly to help me through the Summer months ... I am going to be sitting pretty!

I'm going to Mexico for a week with Tom and Robbie and Steve and Ellen and Patrick .... looking forward to that.

North Texas had gotten LOTS of rain ... love that ....

The table has been full at BJ's the past few weeks .... lots of friends stopping in to see us. Last Friday, 3 of our regular Friday night friends were gone ... yet we still had a table of 8!! That was fun!!

RH's shoulder turned out to be not as bad as they thought! Gilly's Linzi didn't have an episode! People are beginning to reach out to me again from FP past ....

Still wondering why SWSNBN and her hand matrons keep checking in ....??

Answer ... because they can ....

Sad ...

Ehehehehehehehe .......

What????

Internet Trolls ...

Okay .... I have been doing a lot of reading about Internet Trolls ... you can find some posts about this topic, with lots of links, in my Blog Archive .... but now I am going to go off on a tangent from all of those ...

According to my research, in most cases a "troll" is defined to be an "outsider" who has come into an established group with the express purpose to cause disruption.

So ... what do you call a beloved and trusted long-time member of a happy group who suddenly decides she wants to create havoc within that very group? Is that a "troll", too?

NO ... this beloved member's identity has not been stolen ... at least, not by a stranger.

YES ... this is the very same person whom you might have actually allowed into your home. The very same person with whom you you might have shared intimate secrets. But suddenly there appears an ugly side to this person ... a side so insidious that only the closest of friends recognize the change ...

What do you call that??

From all the reading I have been doing about Internet Trolling ... or Trawling ... or whatever it is called .... this person isn't a Troll. This person is MUCH worse ... and there is little being written about her and her ability to destroy that which is good.

For lack of a better name ... and because this is how I have been thinking about her in my head ... I will call her "She-who-shall-not-be-named".

I find it interesting that, according to research, 90% of Internet Trolls are Male. This is another reason for my belief that "She-who-shall-not-be-named" is not a Troll. On average, men do not possess the depth of evil and conniving and just sheer petty meanness which "She-who-shall-not-be-named" possesses.

Almost everybody at sometime or another has experienced the wrath of a "mean girl". It might have been in your middle school cafeteria, or on your elementary school bus, or something written in your high school yearbook. Almost everyone carries a scar or two from an encounter with some female who only takes the time to notice you so that she can smash you down to make others around her laugh and think she is cool. If you haven't experienced this yourself ... then ... ummm ... you probably WERE the mean girl.

"She-who-shall-not-be-named" is the middle-school "mean girl" times Ten ... she is far more insidious. Where others in a real life group often actually SEE and HEAR the mean girl being mean, "She-who-shall-not-be-named" must be READ. And I have learned from experience that for the most part, people don't learn as well just reading something ... they need to SEE it and HEAR it to truly understand it. "She-who-shall-not-be-named" uses the Internet and Message Boards to apply her evil ... and it seems that often it is only the person at whom she has aimed her barbs who truly feels the calculated meanness of her words. Others just tend to skim over the words ... not letting the intent and the feeling sink in.

But what the others DO KNOW is that they don't want those same words typed to them. And so they begin to distance themselves from the person whom "She-who-shall-not-be-named" is attacking.

This is obvious in a middle-school cafeteria .... fewer and fewer people sit at the same lunch table with the victim, or on a school bus .... where no one will let the victim sit with them ... but not so obvious on a Message Board, unless you are looking for it.

A Message Board is the perfect place to sow discord and reap paranoia. Soon ... nobody knows who to trust. And nobody wants to even "play". And the only people having a really "good" time are "She-who-shall-not-be-named" and her minions. Everyone else, the victim(s) and the people too afraid to do anything, are left on the sidelines or totally gone. And the happy paradise of friendship and laughter is destroyed.

But why would someone want to do this?? Especially in a place where she herself was once very happy?? How can this be??

This is exactly what I have been asking myself for months? I couldn't understand it. But then ... I am certainly not thinking like her ... and I don't WANT to think like her ... I don't WANT to understand her .... because to truly understand her would mean that I had crossed over to the Dark Side myself.

Yet ... this has always puzzled me .... Why would the White Witch prefer a frozen solid freezing cold Narnia, surrounded by mean spirited minions ... when she could have had a bright happy Narnia with 4 wonderful seasons (including winter) and be surrounded by normal regular creatures leading normal regular lives?

Why would Sauron ... the Dark Lord in LOTR ... surround himself with ugliness and nastiness and more mean-spirited minions living in Mordor .... why would he want to destroy The Shire, and in fact, take all that was beautiful and good and turn it into ruins?

Why is it always light and happiness that attracts EVIL? And yes ... I feel "She-who-shall-not-be-named" to be truly EVIL. And a couple of her hand-matrons to also be evil .... but most of her minions I feel are just very, very confused.

What? Somebody seems to be having too much fun? Here comes "She-who-shall-not-be-named" to destroy the day!

What?? There is a little tension somewhere else? Here comes "She-who-shall-not-be-named" to nurture that tension and make people distrust each other.

What??? Someone is hurting and needs the support of friends? Ha!! "She-who-shall-not-be-named" has no time for such frailties! Let the minions kick them while they are down as "She-who-shall-not-be-named" moves on to other victims.

Why take something that was good and beautiful and destroy it? Because she can. That's why.

IF .... by Rudyard Kipling .....

[IF]

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If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

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If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

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*

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

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*

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If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,

If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

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*

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If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

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Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

*

*

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If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

*

*

*

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

*

*

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If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

*

*

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If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

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Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

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--Rudyard Kipling

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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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[IF]
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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
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This is easier said than done .... especially when the people blaming are your friends ....
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If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too

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I am doing pretty well with this part ... trying to stay in touch with people from FP who might still be my friends ....
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If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
*

Hmmmm ..... not doing too well here ... I am very angry with what has happened to FP and the people who caused it to happen. I am not dealing in lies ... and hatred is a bit strong ... but extreme dislike is possible ...

Looking Good? Hmph ... just me ...

Talking Wise? Hmph ... just me ....
*
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
*
I'll need to think about this stuff some more ....
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If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
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WOW ... this pretty much sums it all up, doesn't it??
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Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
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I would have given my life for my friends in FP ... now ... who are my friends? Who can I trust ... I know of 2 .... where used to be 20.

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If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
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Ahhhh .... now this is a whole other thing about my life ... and this I can do with the help of Tom and Robbie and life in the US of A ...
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If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
*

I have not really been put in this situation ... this is left to determine ... I'd like to think so ... but ...

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If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
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Sorry ... total failure here ... Friends can hurt me ... I gave them that power and they used it ... my bad ...

I am unsure how else to be a friend, though ....

And my friends do count more than others to me ... some count a lot ...
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If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
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Hmmmmm ..... not sure if I could run for 60 seconds ....
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Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
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Well ... woman .... but I get it ....
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--Rudyard Kipling